Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sometimes it is better to be asexual

As I watched my friend walk up the road to where I stood, I couldn't help but take note of the vivid blue sari she was wearing and accessories that matched. There's nothing exceptional about a woman dressing up, except that most successful female professionals I've known wear clothes that they are sure will not draw attention to themselves. And at a time when the spotlight is on 'distracting' female attire, thanks to Debrahlee Lorenzana's claim that she got fired from Citibank because of her bodacious clothes, these professionals do seem justified in 'dressing-down'. My friend was a contrarian in that sense - just in her early thirties, she is hugely successful professionally and already the branch head of her company in Delhi. And she's anything but coy about her looks - she candidly admits that she gets a 'high' looking at herself in the mirror after she dresses up for work. "And if I feel good about myself, I'm confident and I know my day will go well," she said.

I couldn't help wondering how she managed to ward off unwanted attention with her stunning looks. With tales of sexual harassment spilling out of staid corporate offices, how did a head-turner like her manage in her dealings with politicians, industrialists and lawyers? "At work, I'm a completely asexual person," she said. I knew what she meant - for all her good looks, any expression of warmth on her face was reserved only for people she liked a great deal.

But even that ploy doesn't work always. Many successful women complain they can't go networking over beer in a bar, it just seemed to give out the wrong ideas.

My friend is lucky that her husband moves in the same professional circles, so they can do the beer thing together in a bar. "And once when I had an old fogey trying to flirt with me, I called out to my husband who was there and asked, "Hey, why don't you talk to me like that anymore?" The gentleman got the idea," she recalls.

But unlike my friend, attracting attention or being distracting - now that's something most women who want to make a mark professionally steer clear of. In a way, they try to be asexual too, especially in sectors which are very male-dominated and don't have women in the core areas. Only they don't describe it as being 'asexual'. An acquaintance, who is a consultant, remarked how she chose to wear only black silks with different-coloured borders to work. "I want the focus directed towards my presentations and so I avoid clothes that distract. However, I wear a sari and not business suits even when I attend conferences abroad because I like to draw attention to my nationality," she says.

Ask a senior woman executive on general tips for the female workforce and you can be sure there will be some advice on 'sensible clothes' too. There's something to be said in favour of these tips, perhaps.

Earlier, a law firm in the UK had tried to ban fishnet stockings to work because they were "distracting" - the ban was never enforced after a female employee blew the whistle on the proposal and invited a flood of furious protests. Would items from a man's wardrobe be banned too if the women found them distracting, they demanded to know. But till there's a sartorial revolution in the workplace, the most sensible of the lot will stick to being 'asexual', perhaps. Guess what? A UK law firm once tried to ban fishnet stockings because it 'distracted'. But it failed to do so

Source:http://in.news.yahoo.com/

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